Hookers and bedtime

As Nina crawled into her bed in the dark, she said, "Mom! There's a hooker in my bed."

It was a hanger.

Can I get some attitude with my Cheetos?

Nina asked if she could have Cheetos in the living room. I replied, "No, but you can have them in the kitchen."

She got quiet, then said as she turned the bag over, "It says here 'can eat in living room."

Weasel.