Nina...or Napoleon Dynamite?

Picture it: Nina's lying in bed on her back. I'm cuddled next to her, dreading the stalling that's sure to come at bedtime. I doze off, she awakes me to say in a Napoleon Dynamite-like voice, "Uh, I'm gonna potty in my pants." It's her way of saying in a non-request, non-stalling way, "I need to go to the bathroom."

Sigh

smart mouth at 5

I'd had it this morning. The girls had won every battle. I was so stinkin' tired of cleaning up after them. So when I saw them--again--dragging my shoes out of my closet so they could play dress-up, I blew a gasket.

"NO. NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. Put 'em back. Get out of my closet. Close. The. Door."

Audrey dared to say politely, "Umm, Mom? This is actually Dad's closet, too. And...he pays for this house."

I had to give myself a timeout in the bathroom.

ahhh...memories

Some of my fondest memories of growing up are my Dad and I rockin' out to music. Janet Jackson, Paula Abdul, Shania Twain, Michael Jackson, Starship...even as I type them I'm laughing aloud. I'd coreograph a kickass routine for a talent show of some sort and my Dad would be my first audience. He'd coach me, "You're not smiling, Andrea!" God love him, I'm not sure how he kept a straight face during those performances.

So today, as I rocked out to my girls' Kidz Bop CD, I smiled because I know they thought I was the coolest mom--EH-VER.

I'm stuck

Twice today Nina said, "Mom, I stuck."

First, it was at Walmart. Her foot was caught in the front of the cart and I'd been dragging her. Obviously she wasn't hurting because it took her a while to speak up, but when she finally did, I had to work hard at getting her foot out.

The second and last time was as she watched a movie. She was copying her big sister and turned a leaf-shaped seat (thanks Papa D) over so that she had her butt in the space between the bottom of the seat and the legs of the leaf chair. And she was completely wedged in there. When I pulled her hands/arms, the leaf chair came with her. Thankfully I didn't have to use butter...or peanut butter...to clean up the mess.

snot

Nina yelled in the backseat, "Audrey, stop being a snot."

Audrey: "Where did you learn that word?"
Me: "Yeah, where did you hear that?"

Nina: "Walmart."

the Petal Girl

I was dreading the moment Audrey found out that there was a flower girl in the wedding...and it wasn't her. Auddie's been dying to be a flower girl. "But Moooom...all of your friends are married. I'm never gonna have a chance to be a flower girl." (whiny voice)

So I wasn't surprised when she pulled me aside at the rehearsal dinner. She had me sit on the couch, away from the crowd, and she said seriously, "Mom, she's the flower girl." Talla, an innocent flower girl, walked by and said, "I'm the flower girl and my brother is the ring boy."

Audrey, exasperated, said, "Um, that's a ring bear-er." Then, looking at me, "Mom, she doesn't even know how to say it...how can she be a flower girl and I'm not?"

I hid my smile and assured her the wedding would still be fun.

During the ceremony, I snuck a peek at Audrey and she was excitedly giving Talla the thumbs up sign, signaling she was doing a good job being a "petal girl."

"You don't look how you're supposed to look, Mom"

I came out of my room dressed and ready to go to the store. Audrey says innocently, "Did you already put makeup on, Mom?" I replied, "Well, kindof. Not much. Do I look ok?" Audrey: Well, no. I think you need more. You don't really look like you're supposed to.